Friday, April 7, 2017

Emotionally-Competent Leadership

Brene Brown
    • Hearing her talk about worthiness and shame and being able to connect with people was really enlightening.  I can relate to this with my mother and my relationship.  My whole childhood, even today, I felt like I wasn’t ever good enough in her eyes.  She always made me feel unworthy and shameful and because of that we don’t have the connection most parents have with their children.  My father on the other hand puts me on a pedestal and always tells me how proud he is of me.  Somehow, I was able to grow and better myself through the years and I was able to be vulnerable, as Brene Brown says, “say I love you first” (2010).  I told my boyfriend I loved him before leaving for boot camp.  I took that plunge not know what the future holds because I was leaving for 6 months.  After those 6 months, I came home and we got married right away and we’re happier than ever.  Brene Brown and our book say the same thing that “vulnerability is not about weakness or incompetence” (Porter-O’Grady & Malloch, 2015, p. 309).  Brene Brown says that, “vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage” (2011).
Image result for vulnerability



18 Behaviors
    • My top 3 brightest characteristics of emotional competence are:
1.     I am curious about the people around me.  I was talking to one of the corpsmen about his life and what he wanted to do with it and all the sudden he said, “Ma’am, why do you care so much about us?” and it nearly broke my heart.  Why wouldn’t I care about them?
2.     Not only do I embrace change, I am usually the one making the changes!  Just this week I changed over our IV caps to alcohol impregnated caps (and boy am I hearing the scuttle butt from that one!) but in the end it's about patient safety, not about "we've been doing it like that for years."
3.     I am very difficult to offend.  Most people make fun jabs at me just I just laugh along with them.  If you can’t laugh with them, what’s the point?  Life’s too short!
    • My 3 areas of improvement are:
1.     I need to understand my emotions more.  I’m one of those people who will say “I feel like poop” instead of saying something like, “I’m feeling downtrodden” but this could be because I have a toddler at home as well. 😊
2.     I am terrible when it comes to saying no to people.  I will let everything pile on top and still manage to get it all done.  My boss finally came to me and told me I wasn’t allowed to take on any more responsibilities because I have too much already.  On top of my job, collateral duties, hospital duties, getting my master’s degree, and having a family, I just found out I’m pregnant!  So now I’m juggling all of this while extremely tired AND nauseous 😊
3.     I normally have a hard time letting go of mistakes.  I learn from my mistakes but boy oh boy do I let them linger and haunt me for some time.
(Bradberry, 2015).


Henry Cloud 

Henry Cloud’s second point was doing “anything that requires them to be someone they are not” which for me is not true (2014).  As I was growing up people always used to tell me I’d be a good nurse.  I NEVER thought I’d end up in healthcare, I fainted at the sight of blood! (Don’t worry, I don’t anymore!)  I finally didn’t know what to do with my life so I joined the Navy, they made me a Corpsmen and I couldn’t be happier where I am today.  Everything happens for a reason.
I agree 100% when Henry Cloud says, “Once you get that it truly is impossible to please everyone, you being to live purposefully, trying to please the right people” (2014).  When I first got into leadership, I tried my very hardest to please everyone.  Finally, I realized that I can’t, no one can. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.


Image result for everything happens for a reason


 Simon Sinek

I am lucky enough to serve my country and I can relate to what Simon Sinek talks about in the beginning of this webcast because I work with brothers and sisters.  I think the bond is a little more when you’re deployed or overseas but either way, we’re all away from our families and where we grew up.  We all volunteered to serve our country and the comradery we share because of that is beautiful.  We don’t even have holidays alone, because we’re always together, ensuring no one is left behind.  Simon Sinek says that, “We are social animals and we respond to the environments we’re in and leaders are responsible for building that environment” (2016).  Our Department Head on the ward is energetic, he’s compassionate and you can really tell that he cares about everyone who works there. 
Image may contain: 5 people, people smiling

Rethinking Thinking

I learned a couple years ago not to waste energy on things you have no control over.  This message changed my life.  If someone were to cut me off, what good will it do getting upset over it?  It’s just wasted energy.  I’d rather spend my time being happy and joyful rather than angry and bitter over things I have no control over.


Image result for don't waste your energy on things you can't change

If you were to ask a coworker, “What’s it like to sit on the other side of me?” what would he or she say?
I think my coworker would say that I am competent, yet not afraid to ask questions.  I'm humble yet have a confidence about me.  They have told me before that they could see me in ten years coming back to our hospital as a Captain in the Navy and overseeing the hospital.  They see leadership in my future.  They respect me for working as hard as I have to get to where I am today and that I’m not slowing down.  They see me as a solid role mode. I am proud of who I've become.


Image result for love who you are

References

Bradberry, T. (2015, April 28). 18 Behaviors of Emotionally Intelligent People. Retrieved April 05, 2017, from http://time.com/3838524/emotional-intelligence-signs/

Brown, B. (2010, June). Retrieved April 02, 2017, from https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability

Cloud, H. (2014, June 24). 10 Things Successful People Never Do Again. Retrieved April 07, 2017, from http://www.success.com/article/10-things-successful-people-never-do-again

Porter-O'Grady, T. & Malloch, K. (2015). Quantum leadership: Building better partnerships for sustainable health (4th ed.).

Sinek, S. (2016, June 07). Retrieved April 08, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzBqJNh8z2U



No comments:

Post a Comment